Staring, Always Staring
by KaTni55Me77ark
Summary: I didn't think anyone would just stop living after all they've been through. But she did. My sister Katniss did. And now, she's staring. Just staring. *Peeta has been captured by the Capitol and Katniss falls into a deep depression - Mrs Everdeen style. What would her sister do? This is a one-shot and in Prim's POV, if you haven't guessed yet.


**Hey everyone!**

** Just so you know, I'm very excited and nervous to be writing my very first fanfic and I hope this is good enough for all you readers out there. Please review! Remember, compliments and constructive criticisms are welcome. Haters, go away!**

**P.S. This is kind of my practice fic. **

**Maria **

* * *

I didn't think anyone would just stop living after all they've been through. But she did. My sister Katniss did and I miss her.

We're in our tiny compartment in District 13 and Katniss have just been here for a couple of weeks. We haven't talked at all since she arrived here and I don't think that's going to happen soon. Right now, she's sleeping in her bed and looking peaceful. Then suddenly, she's screaming and thrashing around, "-eeetaa! -eeetaaa!" After a few minutes she started sobbing,"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

This has been happening for weeks. It all began when Haymitch told her that the Capitol had captured Peeta. She was dragged by nurses into the hospital, yelling like mad. Her old mentor followed her in, nursing his face that was bleeding and was full of scratch marks. After that, they started sedating her, which was very often. She kept having panic attacks for a week and then she stopped. I thought that was a good thing. How very wrong I was. She's just staring, always staring.

Now, the only thing she would do besides stare at the wall is sleep. She looks so thin and fragile, so unlike the strong girl that I knew. She wouldn't eat so we had to deliver food into her system through the IV. At night, she would wake up screaming from her nightmare. She would bolt up, look around and then just stare blankly at nothing. Staring, always staring. Sometimes, I even have to shake her awake just to stop her suffering. She would look at me with crazed eyes and then turn her back to me, quietly sobbing into her pillow, "Peeta, Peeta..." But this time, though, I don't bother going near her. The last time I did that -which was very recent- she pushed me away and said to leave her alone. After a few attempts of going against her wish, I stopped trying.

The doctors don't know why she's acting like this. Haymitch says she just misses Peeta. Gale says she feels guilty for not saving him. They have it all wrong. Don't they see what I see? Katniss loves Peeta. Maybe it's true that you don't realize what you have until it's gone.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Katniss stops crying. I turn around to face her and sure enough, she's sleeping. She looks exhausted, the way she always does after a nightmare. She wasn't peaceful anymore. I started crying silent tears. I hate seeing her like this. I would get in a hovercraft, fly to the Capitol and save Peeta if I could. Anything to bring my old Katniss back. I continue crying until I'm so tired, I can't keep my eyes open.

I wake up feeling a headache coming, but I force myself to sit up. I walk to Katniss's bed but all I see is the sheets hastily thrown aside. I panic and went to the bathroom. She's not there either. I picked up the phone and called the hospital, where my mother was working.

"Hello?" she said.

"Mom, it's Prim. Katniss is missing again."

She sighs. I can tell that the exhaustion from working nigh shifts is getting to her. "I'll tell the others." By others, she meant Haymitch, Gale, and the guards. Our little search party.

I hang up and dress for the day. It's not much. Just the grey shirt and pants that they issued here in District 13. I sigh. I know they're practical and save resources but I miss the dresses I used to wear in District 12. It sounds so childish and I'm not a child anymore. I am thirteen years old and I have to grow up fast, just like Katniss did for me. And now, I'm paying her back. _I_ will be strong enough for _her_, for the both of us.

There was a knock on the door and I hurriedly get the emergency sedative in the drawer. More often than not, we had to use this with Katniss. Almost everytime we found her, she would run from us and when she reaches a dead end, scream at the top of her lungs.

I open the door to find a very concerned Gale, a dishevelled Haymitch, and three scary-looking guards.

"Hey, Prim" says Gale.

"Hey, Gale."

"Let's get started."

We begin searching in the first floor. We search every room, every closet, every broom cupboard. This continued until lunchtime. The group agreed that they would resume after eating but I refuse. I keep walking down hallway after hallway and floor after floor. Finally, when I reach level 17 -which was only a floor above the cafeteria- I hear sobbing mixed with mumbling. I run quickly until I'm in front of a door at the end. I tentatively open it and I find a figure shaking violently under the pipes. Katniss. Her back is towards me. She doesn't seem to notice me and I slip in and go to a corner and wait for her to calm down. I listen carefully to her murmuring.

"You know, Peeta, I had a dream last night," she says, her voice shaking. "You baked some bread. I think it was the same one that you threw me in the rain when we were kids. Raisin and Nut. We sat in front of a fireplace and we had a toasting. I want it so badly to come true. I love you." I can almost see her smile when she said the last part.

I don't realize she was holding something in her hand until a white pearl comes rolling towards me. The very same pearl that Peeta gave her in the Quarter Quell. She crawls to get it when she looks up and sees me. Her eyes fill with panic, she looks over her back and yells "Peeta, don't go! Please, don't go!" She stands up and looks around frantically, no doubt for him. "PEETA!" Her screams must have been heard from the floor below because five minutes later, our search party arrives. They barge through the door and the three guards restrain her. She fights back and attempts to bite their hands so I handed Gale the sedative. He plunges it into her arm and Katniss becomes weak. Her strained voice dies down, turns into a gurgling sound and stops altogether.

Katniss falls limp and I am immediately at her side. Even though I'm only 13, I can easily lift her by the arms. She lost a lot of weight during her phase of depression and I have the same weight as her, probably even more. I carry her to the hospital wing, where she would be needed for another check-up with Dr Aurelius. I give Katniss to my mother and she puts her on the bed.

"Prim, go home and rest," she says.

"I won't, Mom. _You_ haven't slept since yesterday so _you_ need to rest. I can watch Katniss for you."

For a moment, there's gratitude in her eyes but is quickly replaced by uncertainty. "Are you sure?"

"I am."

"Okay. Good night, honey." She kisses my forehead and leaves.

"Night, Mom."

She heads for the door just when Gale comes in. Mother nods her head at him and he does the same. He immediately rushes to the side of the bed and hold one of Katniss's hands that isn't held by me. They are very cold.

"Gale, we need to get Peeta out of the Capitol," I say all of a sudden.

He sighs then looks up at me. There is no surprise in his eyes, as if he expected me to say this for a very long time. "I know."

"Then why aren't you doing anything about it?"

He snaps. "I don't know Prim! I mean, is it so wrong for me to hope that maybe, just maybe, if Peeta is gone I won't have competition anymore?!" he asks angrily. "But I know it is. I'm being selfish. I just want Katniss to be happy but if it means _he_ comes back, it'll kill me. But if... she really... you know... wants him back, so be it." He looks defeated. Heavy silence follows.

"When do you have Command?" I ask, finally breaking the ice.

He takes a deep, shaky breath and checks the clock on the wall. "About an hour and a half from now. Why?"

"I need to talk to President Coin. I am allowed, aren't I?"

"I can send in a formal request now," he replies.

"Thank you," I say gratefully.

We pass the time by talking about memories with Katniss, events before the Games. Before it all started. Just when we're talking about how Katniss got chased by a bear, his communicuff switches on.

"Soldier Hawthorne, you're needed in command," says a stern voice.

Gale replies, "I'll be there." He turns to me and asks "Are you ready to go?"

"It's now or never." I've never met the President before. Not even when we arrived here. I guess she barely gets out of her office, organizing uprisings and all.

We go to the top floor, where the Command room was located. When we get to the door, a plump Capitol man is there to greet us.

"Soldier Hawthorne," he says cheerfully.

"Mr Heavensbee." Oh, the Head Game Maker. He looks too nice to be the man organizing the Hunger Games.

"And who's this lovely young lady?" he asks with genuine curiosity.

"Primrose Everdeen, the Mockingjay's sister and she wishes to be in Command and speak with President Coin." Gale says almost monotonously. Just like a soldier.

Plutarch raises his eyebrows and seems to contemplate my request. Finally, he caves in. "Alright. But it'd better be important.

"Thank you," I say with a smile.

"You're welcome." He smiles back

He leads us into the room and instantly, all eyes are on me. The pair that sticks out, though, is of the woman at the head of the table. She has grey hair that falls in an unbroken sheet to her shoulders. Her eyes are the same colour as Katniss's but there's something missing. Katniss's eyes have a defiant but kind look in them while the woman's only have ruthlessness. I dislike her immediately but if I want to get my wish fulfilled, I would have to act business-like.

"And who is this?" she asks. Unlike Plutarch, she asks with suspicion in her voice.

"I'm Primrose Everdeen," I say calmly.

"Miss Everdeen's sister? What do you want?" she asks bluntly.

Here goes nothing. "I want to make a request. A plea, actually."

"And what might that be? We have more important things to discuss."

"I want Peeta Mellark and the other victors to be rescued from the Capitol."

She laughs without humour. "Miss Everdeen, I don't think it's as easy as that. We don't have enough resources to waste in a dangerous and likely unsuccessful mission. I'm afraid you have to be dismissed now."

Her laugh snaps something inside of me. "Look, my sister's hurting, okay? She can't bear for him to be in the Capitol and goodness knows what they're doing to him! They might be killing him right this moment! You need your Mockingjay, don't you? Well, she can't function without _him_! If you want to win this war, you'd better think again about not rescuing Peeta!" I say breathlessly and I'm almost to tears. That was one of the very few outbursts that I have. I instantly feel guilty, not because of what I said. But because it's the first time I've shouted at a grown-up.

Everyone is gaping at me. Some have horror in their faces, but mostly shock. President Snow is smiling at me, but I can tell it's forced. I bet her anger is boiling just underneath the surface. Good.

"You truly are Katniss Everdeen's sister," she said. I don't know if that was meant to be a compliment or an accusation. Either way, I'm elated. I can finally live up to my sister.

Everyone is silent. The tension in the room is so thick, you can slice it with a knife. Then finally, Plutarch speaks up. "I think she has a point." That's when everyone starts voicing out their opinions.

"Silence!" the President shouts. Instant quiet. "We'll discuss this with civility. We're all matured adults, for goodness' sake," she says pointedly. I bet she's directing it towards me.

Half an hour later, they decide to vote. "All those in favour of rescuing Peeta Mellark and the other victors from the Capitol?" she asks the group. Nearly everyone has their hand up, including Gale. I smile.

"All those _against _rescuing Mr Mellark and the others from the Capitol?" she raises her own hand and a couple of others follow suit. And that's about it. She sighs, "Fine. We'll send in a hovercraft in three days minimum." I take that as my cue to leave.

"Thank you so much," I say and I mean it.

"You're welcome," she replies stiffly. "And go back to your schedule or I might just think of withdrawing my approval."

I hurriedly get out of the door and I can't wait to tell Katniss! Oh wait... she doesn't want to talk to me. The smile on my face starts turning into a frown. Instead of Katniss's room, I go to the OB/GYN to help out the doctors and nurses. I need to go back on my schedule, after all.

It has been a long day but I go back to Katniss's ward anyway. I find her sitting up and eating her food. I smile. She's eating again! What a coincidence.

"Hey, Katniss!" I hope she talks to me.

She looks up from her soup and smiled, "Prim."

I'm so happy that I start crying. Katniss immediately stands up and hugs me. I hug her back. "What's wrong, little duck?" she asks, concerned.

"Nothing. It's just... You're normal again," I say shakily and she laughs.

"I'm okay now. Shhh, don't cry," she coos.

"What happened to you today?" I ask.

She seems thoughtful for a moment, and then say. "I realized that I acted exactly just like Mom when she lost Dad. I mean, I was depressed and scared that Peeta won't ever make it back to me. But then, I thought about you and I told myself that no matter what happens, I won't let you go through that kind of thing all over again. Not like Mom did."

"But Katniss, nothing _will_ happen. They're going to rescue Peeta and the others," I say.

She loosens our embrace and looks me in the eye, searching for any hint that I may be lying. She's staring, always staring. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I kind of... talked with President Coin. She said they're going to send in a hovercraft in three days."

She looks at me like she's the happiest person in the world. Maybe she is.

"Oh Prim!" she hugs me tighter to her. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"

"I'd do anything for you Katniss."

It's been three days since my conversation with Katniss and things improved a lot. She started talking to people, do her routines and eat more. I'm so happy and so is she. Or at least she _was_. The rescue hovercraft just left an hour ago and we sit in her ward, waiting for them to get back. I'm very nervous but I can't imagine how Katniss feels right now. We just found out this morning that Gale was part of the rescue team. So now, not only does she have Peeta to worry about but her best friend gets thrown in as well. She shifts around, pacing back and forth and staring at the wall blankly. Staring, always staring. If I hadn't known any better, I'd think she's back to her depressing self again.

Eight hours later, Haymitch comes barging in the door. "They're here."

Katniss and I look at each other and before I know it, she bolts out of here. I followed suit but at a more reasonable pace. I must have taken a long time, though, because when I arrive, she's already hugging Peeta and they're both crying.

"Oh, Peeta! I thought I lost you! I'm so sorry I didn't get to you in time..." she says but Peeta cuts her off. "Katniss, it's not your fault. I'm here now, with you."They both smile and Peeta leans down to kiss her. She kisses back eagerly.

"I love you, Katniss," he says, more tears flowing out. He must not have expected an answer because when Katniss replied, he was pleasantly surprised.

"I love you, too."

They're both looking at each other now. Katniss is staring into Peeta's eyes, always staring. But this time, her eyes aren't blank. They're full of love.

* * *

**There you go, my first fanfic! I really hope you liked it! :D**

**Oh and by the way, I forgot to mention that Peeta wasn't going to be Hijacked in this story. Sorry :)**


End file.
